My Sister; “Tony” aka Jed

Yesterday I received news that my sister had passed. I’m still attempting to wrap my head around her dying.

Tony is 12 years older than I am and we pretty much grew up together. She had some disabilities due to being hit by a car when she was young. However, she was smart as all get out, funny, and didn’t hesitate to tell you off either. We definitely had our share of fights because I didn’t like being told what to do. I still have the scar of her slamming my finger in the door. Of course we always made up because that’s what you do as sisters.

I think we owe not having black knees because of her (lol). She didn’t play about us not taking baths. Even now when I take my showers, I make sure to scrub my knees. She didn’t play when it came to her money. If you weren’t contributing to the household, financially, you got an ear full from her about using too much water, washing your clothes, etc. If you messed up, you cleaned up, which is something we all owe to our momma.  I don’t think there was anyone that didn’t love her (my sister) though.

She was told she would never have children but went on to have 3. Two of her 3 children were killed in a devastating fire at our momma’s house and Tony was never the same after that.

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The Cranberry and Christmas 2015

This was supposed to have been written before the new year. But better late than never I suppose…

There’s really no way to (perfectly) describe the sadness I (still) feel of my mom’s passing. It’s even harder when the holidays roll around. However, I was determined to make the most of Christmas for the sake of my (step)children.

Reality started to set in the day before Christmas. The hubster put on some Christmas music but deep down I was wishing he’d stop playing it. Some of the songs triggered memories – some good and some bad. The bad meaning that my dad didn’t care if it was the holidays or not when it came to him physically abusing my mom. But my mom being who she was, through her bruises and pain, always prepared a nice hot breakfast Christmas day (if he beat her the night before) and made sure we had a pretty decent Christmas as kids.  I ended up crying in the bathroom. I was happy when the hubster finally stopped playing Christmas music.

I wrote a post on Facebook in memory of my mom – the day before Christmas and I’m still a bit sad at that point. I was eating cereal that had cranberries in it and was removing them as Im not a fan of cranberries. About 6 minutes after posting the memorial to my mom, I came across a cranberry that, to me, looked like a heart. I swear in an instant it seems, a sense of calmness washed over me. I could feel my mommy’s presence and so I decided to pull myself together. Yes, I do believe in (guardian) angels.

cranberry
I know what I felt when I came across what looks to me like a heart shaped cranberry

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