Life – A Wildflower Heart

My Sister; “Tony” aka Jed

Published on June 23, 2017June 23, 2017 by SylviaLeave a comment

Yesterday I received news that my sister had passed. I’m still attempting to wrap my head around her dying.

Tony is 12 years older than I am and we pretty much grew up together. She had some disabilities due to being hit by a car when she was young. However, she was smart as all get out, funny, and didn’t hesitate to tell you off either. We definitely had our share of fights because I didn’t like being told what to do. I still have the scar of her slamming my finger in the door. Of course we always made up because that’s what you do as sisters.

I think we owe not having black knees because of her (lol). She didn’t play about us not taking baths. Even now when I take my showers, I make sure to scrub my knees. She didn’t play when it came to her money. If you weren’t contributing to the household, financially, you got an ear full from her about using too much water, washing your clothes, etc. If you messed up, you cleaned up, which is something we all owe to our momma. I don’t think there was anyone that didn’t love her (my sister) though.

She was told she would never have children but went on to have 3. Two of her 3 children were killed in a devastating fire at our momma’s house and Tony was never the same after that.

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The 5 Stages Of Grief – From My Personal View

Published on October 4, 2014 by SylviaLeave a comment

Les, my late husband, had been having headaches that just wouldn’t go away. Very unusual for him as this was someone who rarely had a cold. One day while at school, he lost feeling in his legs and had to be carried to his car. I don’t remember if someone drove him to Urgent Care or if he met me there. Anywho, we were told we needed to go to the E.R of an hospital instead.

Once at the E.R., they ran the usual C scan, etc. I remember saying to the doctor – Youre joking right? – after he informed us there was “something” on the C-scan and that an ambulance would be transferring him to another hospital. I remember the lights flashing from the ambulance as I sped behind it. Its so funny ’cause after we reached the hospital, Les said that one of the paramedics asked if he owned a black truck to which he responded yes…The paramedic then replied….I think that’s your wife behind us and they all bust out laughing.

brokenheart — I felt that my heart had been shattered into a million pieces, the next morning when we were told he had brain cancer.

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I Remember Mommy and Thank You….

Published on October 1, 2014 by SylviaLeave a comment

My Beautiful Mother – 7/14/34 – 10/25/13

I remember your strong work ethic. I remember being dead dog tired sometimes and mad that we’d work late into the night until we got the job at hand done. I didn’t understand then but I understand why – now.

I remember being pissed that you had ripped up my favorite skirt
It was way too tight and short for a girl my age but I understand why you did what you did – now

I remember you always advising me that forgiveness isn’t for the person you need to forgive. It’s so you don’t hold onto the anger and hurt which could be detrimental to how you spend the rest of your life. I never really understood how you could forgive so easily but I understand why – now

I remember you telling me that every decision I make has consequences whether good or bad. That I would have to live with the decisions I make and Id better be ready to deal with the outcome. I understand a lot better – now

I remember so many things that you tried to teach me that I fully didn’t comprehend at the time. The older I become – the more I understand the why’s and how’s of your advice.

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I Asked God…

Published on September 5, 2014July 20, 2016 by Sylvia1 Comment

Let me start off by writing that I am not an overly religious person. In fact, Im more spiritual than I am religious. I’m not here to debate how and why I feel the way that I do. I know what works for me.

My only wish (goal) is to maybe help and inspire others who are and/or have gone through situations that makes you say – what the hell?!?

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know why seemingly good people are faced with some of the most tragic things no-one should ever have to endure. I don’t know why seemingly bad people “have it all”. I don’t question why anyone attempts suicide. Ive been there (many times) so I know better than to judge.

Life is Life.

I try to be as positive as I can be because I know that one day, I will never have to endure the hurts and pains any longer cause Lord willing, I will be with my Heavenly Father.

So on that note…

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